Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Master Ninja Linnell and Evil Flans-Bot's LiveJournal:

Saturday, September 9th, 2006
10:56 pm	We moved again! Flansbot here. We moved away from the haunted mansion, because, well...you tell them, Linnell. Turns out the deed we signed was fake, and the ghost-landlord came by to collect his rent. And believe me, when a ghost is your landlord, you'd better pay him. He'll leak ectoplasm all over you if you try stalling. After a really long, really hot shower each, we decided it was best to run away and scream like small girls. Well, Master Ninja, the scream like a girl part was your idea. BUT I DIGRESS. We're feeling much better now, much less gooey. We're in our brand new place...Dan Hickey's basement. He doesn't exactly know this. So, uh, nobody tell the guy, okay? We've seen what he used to do to his drumset. And he left the band to go practice the Deadliest of the Martial Arts with the man who single-handedly killed the entire western branch of the Yakuza 50 times before they hit the ground, so he could really, uh, fuck our shit up old school. Oh, Flansbot, you know I'm a Master Ninja. From what I learned, I could whomp him! ...Your "training" consisted of a bucket of peanut butter cups and a "Hong Kong Phooey" marathon. Hey, speaking of peanut butter, I think I'll stealthily ninja my way to Mr. Hickey's fridge... Get me some of his left-over spaghetti-loaf, will you? Current Music: Particle Man, We Might Be Us (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 24th, 2006
2:20 pm	Haunted house antics continue! We've been away for a long time, but we can totally explain! Our haunted mansion keeps trying to kick us out. But we're all like, "Hey! Homie don't play that!", and combatting in our on special way. Master Ninja Linnell and I have started haunting the house back. Yeah, one day we were sitting around watching "Pretty In Pink" (trivia! This is Flans-bot's all time favorite movie ever. He thinks Ducky totally got the shaft, and has harbored resentment for Molly Ringwald ever since), and the doors started opening and then slamming shut a billion times. As Linnell said, Homie don't play that. So we put bedsheets with little eyeholes on and started walking around and moaning. The doors stopped moving. We found some chains and clanged them around for a while, and then we heard something otherworldly stutter, "Wh-wh-who's there?" And we said, "GHOOOOOOOOSTS!! WOOOOOOooooooo..." We use the blood that gushes from the walls to leave the house little notes that say scary things like "WE'RE GONNA GET YOU" and "RICHARD GERE". I think we're winning. Yeah, the house tried to send a big, hairy monster after us one night, but we caught it and pulled off its mask. Turned out it was just Don Knotts, and he looked more frightened than we were. We took a broom to him, and he ran right out the front door. Wait a minute, Flansbot... Huh? What? ...Don Knotts is dead... I--but he...uh oh. HOOOOOUUUUSE WINNIIINNNG NOOOOOWWWW. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 24th, 2006
5:24 pm	Can Ninjas sing the blues? Evil Flansbot ahoy! Oh, how so much has changed since our last updation. We moved into a bigger house, for one thing. Crowded apartments are no good for Ninjas and Robots. We tried for a while to make the best of close quarters by establishing a symbiotic relationship, but...well... Master Ninja Linnell did not enjoy riding around on my back and picking at lice. So, then we tried a parasitic relationship... But Evil Flansbot was not comfortable with attatching his face to my stomach lining and giving me strange diseases. So, we packed it all up into the TMBG-Mobile and found a new home in a ginormous mansion! Oh, there's a pool, a pool IN the pool, a fireplace, a bearskin rug, a rugskin rug, a lightswitch... And it was cheap! All we had to do to sign the deed was spend the night in a haunted house. Unfortunately, this was the house. Oh, sure, the ghosts are a little annoying at times, and when the walls bleed we all start screaming our heads off and clawing at the mysteriously-locked doors...but you know, some people have weevils in their pantry. Some people have to jiggle their keys in the door a little longer. It's a house quirk. GEEEET OOOOUTTT ...it's a house quirk that can spell. Current Music: XTC vs Adam Corrolla (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
7:49 pm	Holy underpants! We're back! Flans-bot and myself have been off on a riverboat gambling binge off the muddy shores of the Mississip. Master Ninja Linnell, tell the truth. We...uh, went to Sparks, Nevada and played slots at The Nugget? NO, John... *sigh* Alright, we've been playing "Uno" for the change in the couch in the livingroom for the past year. And what did we learn from that? We have to spray the furniture for silverfish more often. And we wouldn't have to do that if you'd just stop buying all those bags of Silverfish food at Costco. But JOHN, I have to. He could still come back one of these days. First of all, silverfish don't have a homing instinct. Second of all, Puddin' Cup was a cat. And you KNOW the difference between the two animals by now, because you went to elementary school like everybody else and heard the little song that goes: "Legs of four, it's a cat. Legs of six, it's a silverfish." I was getting my tonsils out that week. No you weren't! Fine, then. Now Master Ninja Linnell must flee to his bedroom, where he shall light the super-secret Puddin' Cup Beacon, and be reunited with his six-legged friend at last! AWAY! If I find one more cabbage moth taped to my flashlight... Current Music: I Peed In Davy Jones' Dresser, Michael Nesmith (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 6th, 2003
11:01 pm	Just a quick note... Starting after she gets home from her crazy mother's house, our SECRET BUDDY is going to make up document the Walt Disney adventure in an easy-to-use comic adventure. Just thought we'd...let ya know. Current Music: Happy Doesn't Have to Involve Bending, Us (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
12:25 am	Haikus are COP-OUTS! LiveJournal Haiku! Your name: linnellflansbot Your haiku: last ow linnell here flans-bot and i were going to go steal walt disney Username: Created by Grahame By the way (Flans-bot here), we DID steal him. We wanted to thaw him out and teach him to do our laundry. Well, Linnell wanted to save some time, so he suggested we put him in the microwave for a few minutes. I swear we spent 15 minutes trying to poke holes in him... We didn't want him blowing up in there. Right. Well, Master Ninja here accidentally hit "popcorn" instead of "defrost", so we...um... We cooked Walt Disney. Wham. Fried. So, here's the deal. He's pretty unrecognizable now, so if anyone asks, he's Tom Selleck. And I don't know who this John Linnell is, why he's in my house, or why he cooked Tom Selleck in the first place. On an unrelated note, I'm going to the Cayman Islands for a few months. Current Mood: uh, NOT murderous. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 26th, 2003
9:40 pm	Walt Disney, and why he should wear a sombrero. Master Ninja Linnell here. Flans-bot and I were going to go steal Walt Disney from the cryogenics lab and thaw him out for evil purposes, but then we realized we were out of toilet paper. So we had to go get some. Well, when we got home, it was pretty dark out, and Cryogenics labs REALLY freak Flans-bot out at night...so we thawed some enchiladas out instead. You gonna eat yours or what? I need to put my festive "Chevy's" sombrero on first. He doesn't just do this with mexican food. We've been kicked out of Olive Garden for that damned hat so many times I can't remember. Oh. Oh. Talk to the HAT, Flans, because the ninja ain't listening. Are ninjas even ALLOWED to have sombreros? Current Mood: full Current Music: Fuck The Brady Bunch Up the Ass, The Partridge Family (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 28th, 2003
3:33 pm	Flans-bot is appalled! Flans-bot here. Master Ninja Linnell discovered a BRAND NEW COUNTRY last night. Unfortunately, it's in my closet, and it's a pretty small space. And he won't come out for anything. I call it The Disputed Territory of Fresno. He won't let me get to my pants. No one gets in without a valid passport, buddy. He started the whole thing up just so he could keep a panda. I'm really against it, because every time I go anywhere near my closet, I get attacked by a monsterous animal and then I'm PROMPTLY DEPORTED. I can't have illegal aliens trampling the fragile panda-friendly ecosystem in here. SIGH. Ooooh, Disputed Territory of Freeesno, my home and native laaaaaand... I'm putting poison in your jar of peanut butter. Current Mood: one of us is fuming. Current Music: Linnell's bastardization of "O Canada" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 11th, 2003
11:15 pm	Ow. Linnell here. Boy, is my foot ever asleep. Not much to report here in the ninja/robot house, except that Flans-Bot's been whispering sweet nothings to the washing machine. It kinda freaks me out. I was checking on my SACRED NINJITSU UNIFORM and found him telling it how much money he made a year. Hey, I'll have you know she was impressed! REALLY impressed. Flans, that was just the rinse cycle. Current Music: just the faint sounds of a snickering Kenmore.. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 26th, 2002
1:58 pm	John, will you stop kicking me? True ninjas stop kicking for NO ONE! HAAAIIIIII YA! *crash* True ninjas don't pull their turtleneck collars up over their mouths and call it a sacred uniform. I beg your pardon, it's an ancient Japanese tradition. Says who? ...That iron chef MC guy. Look, I'm sorry I turned the channel Sunday night, but I really wanted to see the Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis story. It's not like your precious Osbournes weren't on ALL DAY... Hey, Flans-bot, look behind you. What? *kick* STOP DOING THAT! If you truely want to make it up to me, you can do that neat roboty thing... What neat roboty th---oh THAT...NO. Come on! If I were a Linnell-bot, I'd do it all the time! Do you have any idea what turning into a walking disco strobe pac-man game does to my circuitry? A vague one, sure. ...fine, I'll do it. Don't tell ANY of the Dans, though. Hickey kept claiming I ate his quarter last time. I do NOT like being punched down there. Don't skimp on the strobe this time. I'm not epileptic. Current Music: You know, we're perfectly authorized to hum tunelessly and still call it a song... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 20th, 2002
6:09 pm	The John and John jump-a-thon HA! Flans-bot's not here. This is the OTHER John. That means I don't have to be slanty. I can be regular font for as long as I want. Where is Flans, you ask? He told me to tell each of you that he's out teaching the river people of Botswana how to jive. Exact words, but between you and me...he's out getting cough syrup. They already know how to jive over there anyway. Here I am, alone in the house with a big can of coffee grounds. There's only one way to handle this situation, and it involves many a crushed bean going straight into my throat. I'm sure it'll involve running around on the ceiling and yelling an awful lot in twenty minutes... I was right. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Sir Mixalot. You hush. There's a lot people don't know about me. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 19th, 2002
11:34 am	I still think Mono Puffs taste better. Linnell's on the couch eating big mounds of peanut butter in a spoon. That's his breakfast EVERY DAY. He gave up on eating State Flakes after he found out that adding milk turns it into deadly poison. Icky, now our entire Superhero house smells like roasted peanuts! Maybe I can make him eat some scented candles. Boy, being evil is fun. Yesterday, there was this kid at Safeway who was BUYING THE LAST CONTAINER OF HUMMUS, so John distracted him with some swanky ninja moves (like kicking him in the face) while I grabbed the hummus and ran. It was too dangerous to stop at the check-out line, he would've caught up with us. The security guards were pretty mad, but I think deep down they were glad we appreciated hummus enough to go to such great lengths. Linnell's hitting me, so I think I'd better turn the computer over to him. Hmmppbghllr! Don't type with your mouth full, peanut butter whore. Fugff yoof. Current Mood: hyper Current Music: On Earth My Nina techno remix (Comment on this)
Monday, November 18th, 2002
4:41 pm	We love most of you Hi, funkyfresh homiezzzz. Evil Flans-Bot here. And Maser Ninja Linnell over his shoulder. I'm slanty! We're so l33t what with our vast knowledge of html tags. And we know how to spell AND pronounce l33t just like a real h4x0r! D035 th4t sc4r3 j00?? J00 PH34R H4X0R FL4NZ-B0TT!!! John, your computer skills consist of drawing stick figures in paint shop. ...aren't ninjas supposed to not talk? Screw you, Flans-Bot. Screw YOU. ...let's go get some hummus. Yippee! Current Mood: hungry Current Music: We're both singing the Three's Company theme song (Comment on this)